Imagine
It's a year since the day I had my prom..:
Imagine to find out you were pregnant after loosing a baby at 25 weeks pregnancy due to premature rupture of membrane (prom).
Imagine getting yourself to hospital to stitch up your cervix so that it can hold your baby till full term and praying this time no more prom.
Imagine hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time.
Imagine being able to see the baby moves and his fingers and toes on the screen.
Imagine waking up at 27 weeks pregnant and feel your water bag leaking and thinking that you will lost your baby again.
Imagine being told that you are to be bed rest till at least you are 34 weeks pregnant.
Imagine bed resting in the hospital and feeling unsure of what will happen next.
Imagine getting steroid injection so that it will help the baby’s lungs to mature.
Imagine having the contraction and hoping it will go away coz it’s only end of 28 weeks and you know the baby is not ready to be out yet.
Imagine lying in the labour room and hemmoraghing each time you have contraction and feeling so helpless because there is nothing you can do to help your baby.
Imagine you are bleeding for almost 6 hours and almost receive blood transfusion.
Imagine your baby being born the size of a ruler, weighing a mere 1.1 kg and look so grey.
Imagine your baby being 100% dependent on a machine to live for 2 weeks.
Imagine your baby being on oxygen for almost 4 months.
Imagine getting calls during midnight from NICU wanting you to come in right over because your baby has air leak in his lungs.
Imagine looking at the tiny body with all the wires and tubes inserted to him and feeling depressed beyond words.
Imagine feeling so scared to touch your baby.
Imagine not being able to hold your baby for weeks.
Imagine looking at your baby and praying to Allah, that he will live another day.
Imagine not being able to breath every time the phone rings.
Imagine hearing that your baby has a grade II brain bleed and being told that he will have long term disabilities.
Imagine the doctor inform that your baby quality of life is uncertain.
Imagine praying to Allah that the doctors are wrong.
Imagine loving your baby so much that their diagnoses means nothing to you.
Imagine crying your self to bed EVERY night.
Imagine having a baby but going home without one.
Imagine what it feels like not knowing if your baby's next breath will be his last.
Imagine going to the mall, too afraid to buy baby clothes, because your not sure that your baby will live to wear them.
Imagine driving thru the traffics for hours daily for 6 mths so that you could be with him and feeling worth it.
Imagine the feeling of joy to be able to bring your baby home after 6 months in the hospital.
Imagine bringing your baby home, but you can't take him anywhere because his immune system is too weak.
Imagine his first oral feeding is just 1ml.
Imagine having to feed your baby through a feeding tube.
Imagine the doctor told you that the baby cannot drink on his own and they want to insert tube through his tummy.
Imagine the feeling of telling your baby that he have to prove everybody’s wrong and from that moment he started drinking on his own.
Imagine knowing that your baby is going to prove everyone wrong.
Imagine trying to stay sane while all this has taken place.
Imagine having a preemie.
Can you imagine?
Imagine to find out you were pregnant after loosing a baby at 25 weeks pregnancy due to premature rupture of membrane (prom).
Imagine getting yourself to hospital to stitch up your cervix so that it can hold your baby till full term and praying this time no more prom.
Imagine hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time.
Imagine being able to see the baby moves and his fingers and toes on the screen.
Imagine waking up at 27 weeks pregnant and feel your water bag leaking and thinking that you will lost your baby again.
Imagine being told that you are to be bed rest till at least you are 34 weeks pregnant.
Imagine bed resting in the hospital and feeling unsure of what will happen next.
Imagine getting steroid injection so that it will help the baby’s lungs to mature.
Imagine having the contraction and hoping it will go away coz it’s only end of 28 weeks and you know the baby is not ready to be out yet.
Imagine lying in the labour room and hemmoraghing each time you have contraction and feeling so helpless because there is nothing you can do to help your baby.
Imagine you are bleeding for almost 6 hours and almost receive blood transfusion.
Imagine your baby being born the size of a ruler, weighing a mere 1.1 kg and look so grey.
Imagine your baby being 100% dependent on a machine to live for 2 weeks.
Imagine your baby being on oxygen for almost 4 months.
Imagine getting calls during midnight from NICU wanting you to come in right over because your baby has air leak in his lungs.
Imagine looking at the tiny body with all the wires and tubes inserted to him and feeling depressed beyond words.
Imagine feeling so scared to touch your baby.
Imagine not being able to hold your baby for weeks.
Imagine looking at your baby and praying to Allah, that he will live another day.
Imagine not being able to breath every time the phone rings.
Imagine hearing that your baby has a grade II brain bleed and being told that he will have long term disabilities.
Imagine the doctor inform that your baby quality of life is uncertain.
Imagine praying to Allah that the doctors are wrong.
Imagine loving your baby so much that their diagnoses means nothing to you.
Imagine crying your self to bed EVERY night.
Imagine having a baby but going home without one.
Imagine what it feels like not knowing if your baby's next breath will be his last.
Imagine going to the mall, too afraid to buy baby clothes, because your not sure that your baby will live to wear them.
Imagine driving thru the traffics for hours daily for 6 mths so that you could be with him and feeling worth it.
Imagine the feeling of joy to be able to bring your baby home after 6 months in the hospital.
Imagine bringing your baby home, but you can't take him anywhere because his immune system is too weak.
Imagine his first oral feeding is just 1ml.
Imagine having to feed your baby through a feeding tube.
Imagine the doctor told you that the baby cannot drink on his own and they want to insert tube through his tummy.
Imagine the feeling of telling your baby that he have to prove everybody’s wrong and from that moment he started drinking on his own.
Imagine knowing that your baby is going to prove everyone wrong.
Imagine trying to stay sane while all this has taken place.
Imagine having a preemie.
Can you imagine?
posted by Umi at 12:20 pm
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