I'll be waiting

I have to admit I'm a bit worry on Khushairy's speech development. By now he should babbles or repeat words with meaning like 'mama' or 'baba'. He's a fairly quiet boy and only scream or shout if he wants anything. I hope to be able to get an appointment with the speech therapist soon as possible.

His gross and fine motor development is getting along really well. He have so much to learn in order to catch up with his peers. To me...he can take his time...Umi will wait.

It's been a long long time

Yes...it's have been a long time since I last write. So many things had happen. The good, the bad and the ugly???

The good:
1. Let's the drum rolls for......Khushairy. He takes his first step earlier this month and many more steps independantly since then.
2. OT give him a clean bill from autism.
3. We have new maid...so far so good.


The bad:
1. ShaSha lost her 2 lowe teeth and she hated dentist visits ever since.

The ugly:
1. Need to spend almost RM1000 for car parts.

Busy and sick

Khushairy is down with fever. Poor baby. His had temp of 38.8 last night. I took him to the Doctor yesterday. She gave some PCM for him and he's much better today. He lost so much weight lately. Last week he's down with tummy bug and had a bad diarhea episodes.

Hope ShaSha will not get sick. Oh ya..I've been very busy lately as ShaSha has started her Primary 1 on 3 January. She's in the last class 1 Gigih but the scholl will arrange for a test for all primary 1 students to determine which class she'll be in. I would send her to school and Abah will pick her up after school end.

She goes to school with new uniform everyday as it definitely will get dirty by end of the day. I'll prepare her breakfast (just as my Mak have done for me for my 12 schooling years)and prepare her school break meal. Still I would give her RM1. Just in case.

Sometime I'm really worried about her, she's used to be the only child and getting our attention and now the way she seek attention form us would end up with with scoldings. I know she's still a baby (still 6 years old) I just need to be xtra patience with her.

ShaSha is a smart, clever, pretty, witty, sweet and reasonable girl but she also unattentive, jealous,lazy, messy ans silly girl. She can write but her handwriting is so bad unless she's reminded of it. She could read brilliantly but would skip a word or two just bcoz she want to finish the sentence asap. She know how to count but would make silly mistakes.

A year ago

A year ago we have a VERY sick baby and VERY sad umi and abah. Alhamdullillah to god almighty for his blessings. Khushairy is a healthy child. He's now can sit independantly without support. He loves watching TV especially commercials. He still have a long way to go but insyallah he'll catch up with his peers.

One little boy sitting on his own

Alhamdullillah...Khushairy now can sit on his own independantly. Umi is son proud of you. Though still a little wobbly but he's getting the hang of it in a matter of time.

Other than that, he had his 12 mths check up last week. The Doctor is pleased with his development. His on the right track for a 8 mth baby just as his adjusted age. We just need to be extra attentive towards his verbal side. Other than that he lowered down some of his medicine. He's now taking Medxalone once a day at 2 ml, Ranitadine twice daily at 0.5ml and single puff for inflamide.

Other than that, Opah will come over this weekend. I guess I'm much more pleased to have her comeing over compared to my kids. I miss my mom every single day. It's so funny...when I was growing up, i wish I could get out of the house and live independantly and now after having my own family...I wish I could stay with my mom every single day

Imagine

It's a year since the day I had my prom..:

Imagine to find out you were pregnant after loosing a baby at 25 weeks pregnancy due to premature rupture of membrane (prom).

Imagine getting yourself to hospital to stitch up your cervix so that it can hold your baby till full term and praying this time no more prom.

Imagine hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time.

Imagine being able to see the baby moves and his fingers and toes on the screen.

Imagine waking up at 27 weeks pregnant and feel your water bag leaking and thinking that you will lost your baby again.

Imagine being told that you are to be bed rest till at least you are 34 weeks pregnant.

Imagine bed resting in the hospital and feeling unsure of what will happen next.

Imagine getting steroid injection so that it will help the baby’s lungs to mature.

Imagine having the contraction and hoping it will go away coz it’s only end of 28 weeks and you know the baby is not ready to be out yet.

Imagine lying in the labour room and hemmoraghing each time you have contraction and feeling so helpless because there is nothing you can do to help your baby.

Imagine you are bleeding for almost 6 hours and almost receive blood transfusion.

Imagine your baby being born the size of a ruler, weighing a mere 1.1 kg and look so grey.

Imagine your baby being 100% dependent on a machine to live for 2 weeks.

Imagine your baby being on oxygen for almost 4 months.

Imagine getting calls during midnight from NICU wanting you to come in right over because your baby has air leak in his lungs.

Imagine looking at the tiny body with all the wires and tubes inserted to him and feeling depressed beyond words.

Imagine feeling so scared to touch your baby.

Imagine not being able to hold your baby for weeks.

Imagine looking at your baby and praying to Allah, that he will live another day.

Imagine not being able to breath every time the phone rings.

Imagine hearing that your baby has a grade II brain bleed and being told that he will have long term disabilities.

Imagine the doctor inform that your baby quality of life is uncertain.

Imagine praying to Allah that the doctors are wrong.

Imagine loving your baby so much that their diagnoses means nothing to you.

Imagine crying your self to bed EVERY night.

Imagine having a baby but going home without one.

Imagine what it feels like not knowing if your baby's next breath will be his last.

Imagine going to the mall, too afraid to buy baby clothes, because your not sure that your baby will live to wear them.

Imagine driving thru the traffics for hours daily for 6 mths so that you could be with him and feeling worth it.

Imagine the feeling of joy to be able to bring your baby home after 6 months in the hospital.

Imagine bringing your baby home, but you can't take him anywhere because his immune system is too weak.

Imagine his first oral feeding is just 1ml.

Imagine having to feed your baby through a feeding tube.

Imagine the doctor told you that the baby cannot drink on his own and they want to insert tube through his tummy.

Imagine the feeling of telling your baby that he have to prove everybody’s wrong and from that moment he started drinking on his own.

Imagine knowing that your baby is going to prove everyone wrong.

Imagine trying to stay sane while all this has taken place.

Imagine having a preemie.

Can you imagine?

Smiles all the way

I have good news to report. Khushairy has:
1. Started smilling more and more everyday. What a sweet smile...just like...Umi :)
2. Arm crawling more and more instead of rolling to anywhere he want to
3. Attitude...what a big attitude for a small body...just like Abah :P

Syukur alhamdullillah to Allah for all his blessings.

Yes Khushairy is still at my parents place and I still go back to my hometown to be with him, long drive after work on friday evening and arrived at night and came back to KL on Sunday, I'm tired but it's still WORTH IT.